Jesus was a Horse Thief

(lyrics & music by Chris Watson, Copyright ©.)

I made this song as easy to play as possible. It has three easy guitar chords, G, C and D. If you want to, this song can be played in any key using any voicing (arrangement of notes in the chord). I'm going to try something new on this page, assigning different colors to words (or in some cases, to parts of words) to indicate what chord to play while singing them.
Green means play a "G" chord. Fuchsia means play a "C" chord. Blue means play a "D" chord.

[verse type A]
You might not know if you believe, but Jesus led a band of thieves.
Look in Luke chap
ter nineteen, and you will see what I mean.

[verse type B]
He tells his men to take a colt. This was to me quite a jolt.
Bible says you shouldn't steal. That is of course if it is real.

[verse type A]
The Bible says you shouldn't take what isn't yours, make no mistake,
but Jesus does it
anyway. He tells his crooks what they should say:

[verse type B]
“If anyone asks why you're taking this horse, tell them ‘God needs it’ of course.”
Hanging's too good for this guy, so it is time to crucify.


This song is meant as satire. PERHAPS the colt was a GIFT to Jesus and was NOT stolen. However, the Scriptures (this story is also in other Gospels besides Luke) do not make that clear. As they are written, it LOOKS like Jesus ordered two disciples to steal a horse for him.

Of course, if Jesus IS God then he isn't taking anything that isn't his. This may be so, but then, it may also be so that each of us is God pretending to be a separate ego for the fun of it because eternity by yourself is boring. This resembles Hindu beliefs. Read Ye Are Gods for a different interpretation of the teachings of Jesus than you will get from most pulpits.

Yes I know it was probably a young ass, not a horse, but an ass is a member of the horse family. It has common ancestors with the other members of the horse family as shown by the FACT of evolution. Listen to my Evolution song or read the essay I wrote about Teaching Evolution in Public Schools. I have received a LOT of email on this subject the past ten years, so in 2007 I wrote a Reply to Christian Fundamentalists that addresses most of the issues people have argued with me about evolution.